Right, i was flipping through the afternoon edition of Streats during lunch while waiting for my food to be served and i came upon this lil piece of write up by a Mr. Seah Leong Khai. He noted that "
local women [are] marrying Caucasians [men at] an alarming [rate]".
True, Mr. Seah it is a rising trend but please tell me something i don't already know.
He attributes this rising trend to the factors of (and i quote): -
1. "
Caucasian men usually hold senior positions at work, earn more money and probably live in condominiums and drive big cars;
2. The local women believe that Caucasian men treat women with more respect than local men do, and
3. To earn the right to live and take citizenship in their husbands' home countries (in which case there is little point in offering SIngapore citizenship to these women's children)."
Well, Mr. Seah, to your point 1 that is a given fact. If must say so, i think that statement hints a bit of a case of sour grapes.
To your point 2, all i can say personally is that i am pleasantly surprise
- when a man would hold the door for me.
- when i get into the MRT and he, instead of almost pushing me away, offers me the empty seat instead.
- when i voice out my opinions of a fair equal share of a relationship entailing him to share the household chores (and i really mean sharing) and i share the financial burden and does not look at me think i am one crazy women and give me a pathetic statement of "You're intimidating and too aggressive."
In general, i say Singaporean men maybe be family oriented and able to give their children a "complete life" but how many men in Singapore are willing to move out of their parents home, rent an apartment and live a life of indenpendance??? How many men out there would willingly help out with the household chores at home??? How many men would willingly stay at home and be Mr. Mom if his wife earns a much higher salary than he does?
In Singapore, most men stay in the comfort of their parents home till the day they get married. Their mom or sisters are the one doing the household chores, they are not expected to do anything but study hard, get a good paying job, and spread their 'seeds of love' to carry on the family name. That's it. That is
ALL they are required to do. They don't have to worry about having to allocate time to do the household chores like washing the dishes after dinner, the don't have to worry about having to mop and sweep the floor. Like i said
ALL they are required to do is to basically have a family and carry on the family name and be the good boy. It's a very very asian culture which will have to be changed.
As for Mr. Mom, i stand up and give you a standing ovation to those who choose to be the one to stay home to look after the kids and everyday household chore and task. But to a man he is the embarrassment of the male gender. In my dad's words "
Ta Men Dui Jing Nan Ren De Lian" (loosely translated - They are a disgrace to us men.). And i always tell me dad, that is one husband i would love to have!
I am not saying that i want to have my husband stay at home to do all the chores and look after the kids while i am out working and being the sole financial income earner. All i am saying is that the Singaporean men, generally lack in - a sense of independance, a sense of being gentlemenly, a sense of living life with a lil bit of spice and adventure. If i were to put it so bluntly, i would label them "Mama's lil boy" (
awwwww..... pftftftftftf!).
Yes, i want a family oriented man, i want him to be committed to me and the kids. But i also don't want a dull and boring dud who does not know a sense of adventure in life. All he knows is bring home the pay check, have dinner, then plops his ass down in front of the tv with the excuse that he is tired from the day's work. Riiiiight. Like i am not tired? That i didn't have a rough day at work? Just because i am a woman doesn't mean i don't face the same things that you might face at work. But nooooo, we're expected to look after the kids, make sure they're fed, that they're doing their homework, that they're prepared for the next day of school, etc. etc.. By the time it is the end of the nite, i would have been so exhausted that i don't even have time to spend to myself to read the papers or magazine or watch tv.
It's not always about the 5Cs ...
REALLY it ISN'T. In Singapore, you don't need to own a car. If you have it it's fine if you don't have it it isn't worth paying thru your nose for one. To me, a car in Singapore is not a necesscity, it is a luxury. You don't need to have a condo cos staying in a HDB 4 or 5 room is good enough. Sides the new condos are soooooo soooooo cramped due to the land scarce so it's not that big a deal anyways.
All i can say is, i'm not a girl who needs to be treated like a weakling and to be fussed over. I am independent and i expect to be respected and treated as an equal.
