On a "down-er" note ..

As the start date of classes draws near, i find myself picturing the worse scenarios ever.

"What if i can make it thru the entire 18 months?"

"What if i have to drop out?"

"What if my boss fires me for not working enough?"

"What if i make it thru but my grades are shit?"

"What happens if the others in the group with me don't understand my difficulties juggling working full time and having to attend classes and project meetings?"

Can't afford to screw up anymore, not getting any younger anymore and alot of what i have dreamt and hope for lies on whether i get thru this next 18months alive and still sane.

I constantly find myself having to struggle at work, i keep finding myself asking "Why aren't i thinking like my other two colleagues?" or "Damnit, that was simple why didn't i think of that before?" or "Why didn't i see that coming?" ... workoholic i might be but am certainly not a good worker...

Will see how things goes .... one baby step at a time. Just have to remember "Baby steps, baby steps, gonna get there in baby steps."