Friday, August 29, 2003

On a "down-er" note ..

As the start date of classes draws near, i find myself picturing the worse scenarios ever.

"What if i can make it thru the entire 18 months?"

"What if i have to drop out?"

"What if my boss fires me for not working enough?"

"What if i make it thru but my grades are shit?"

"What happens if the others in the group with me don't understand my difficulties juggling working full time and having to attend classes and project meetings?"


Can't afford to screw up anymore, not getting any younger anymore and alot of what i have dreamt and hope for lies on whether i get thru this next 18months alive and still sane.

I constantly find myself having to struggle at work, i keep finding myself asking "Why aren't i thinking like my other two colleagues?" or "Damnit, that was simple why didn't i think of that before?" or "Why didn't i see that coming?" ... workoholic i might be but am certainly not a good worker...

Will see how things goes .... one baby step at a time. Just have to remember "Baby steps, baby steps, gonna get there in baby steps."

Monday, August 25, 2003

Was so nostalgic ....

Here's my story on how my orientation went.

2 Hours Before i had to leave .....
"Shit! 5pm already??!" Gasped and then furiously started punching really hard and fast on the keyboard, punching numbers and stuff away on the invoices. Working like a maniac and was pretty stressed out cos it seems like when i get stressed out i start to laugh at things and giggle. (WHAT'S NEW?? :P) So there i was trying not to look like and sound like a maniac going loonie trying my darnest to finish what i can.

20 Mins Before i had to leave .....
"Sorrie, got to run." Orientation starts - 6.30pm. Me queueing inline for taxi - 6.10pm. Me getting into cab - 6.25pm. Me getting to SIM - 6.45pm. Me forking out - $10.70. Darn ride cost me $10 bucks!!! Argh!

25 Mins Late ....
Walked into thee school's atrium and i got a message from Yani and said "So you're here for the orientation." Shoot how did she .... *dialled number*

Yani : Hello.

Me : Where are you? I don't see you where are you??

Yani : Somewhere in the Atrium ...

Me : Right.... now where is the Atrium ... am halfway up a flight of stairs.


Walked up the stairs and i looked up and around and she yelled and waved from the 2nd floor. I yelled and waved back but had to run cos i was running really late got to the lecture theatre and walked in. As i was apologising profusely for being late while collecting my set of notes and stuff.

It was then i started looking around for familiar faces and ..... ta da da da da!!! Familiar faces!!!!!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeee.... can't believe i am seing Jia Hui, Esther, Koon Chuan, Jeffrey and Norbert in the same batch as i am. :P Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Some of the peeps from the batch after us were there as well.

So i should do okies ... i hope. :P

Right how is that for a boring blog. :P

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Am i entitled to be upset??

I am not too sure if being a friend means that i cannot get upset at her/him or that i always have to stand on their side regardless of the situation.

She came back for her summer break not too long ago and all she could talk about was the other guy who she went to school with. Not her boyfriend who i think is an absolute gem and catch, but this guy she knows from school. She was two timing her bf for this guy and i really don't like what she is doing. It upsets me and at times i feel like shaking her and say "Wake up,girl!". I mean she is flying off on a three weeks holiday to London-Holland-Spain and missing first week of school. Plus, she wants to break up with her boyfriend when she is on the trip over the phone. Honestly, she should set her priorities right and i am one who frowns upon breaking up with someone and taking the easy way out to break up with them on the phone, the email or worse sms. It just is not right or fair regardless of why the breakup was initiated.

Luckily for her, she didn't ask me to tell the guy about the breakup or i would have just lashed out at her. I haven't said it out right that i am not happie with what she is doing but i have been rather harsh when she ask for my opinions.

Friday, August 22, 2003

Fricking unfair

The one thing i hate most is to be unfairly blamed when it wasn't my fricking fault in the first place. I will admit to the parts where i did wrong or screw up. But i fricking hate it when i get accused of something i DID NOT feel was wrong on my part.

No one does a powerpoint slide presentation without going thru the whole slide show once. Alright there was a presentation today so i had all the materials ready, i practiced going thru the slide presentation made sure i knew how to repeat the video clips just in case they wanted to replay the clips again and still move on to the other slides smoothly. But when it the time came for my boss to do the presentation she said she wanted to do the clicking of the slides on her own so i said ok fine. And what happens? She didn't know how to click on the link to run the video clips. She screwed up on the files and i get blamed.

Oh and get this those clips used today were used in another presentation before and they didn't work for her and she didn't tell me. I had made sure on the morning for that big presentation i had gone into the board room tested it out on the laptop not once but twice just to make sure it works. I even had the GM's secretary and the merchandising manager's secretary there and i even played the slide show for them. I had a print out of all the slides and went thru them one by one just to make sure it didn't have missing slides. Well she said there were and i am thinking there is no way in hell that could have happened and the one thing i hated most is to be accused of something i didn't do wrong.

Admittedly i said sorry that i overlooked on the sound system this afternoon and i knew i had screwed up on that one and i did apologise to my boss for it. But i sure as hell didn't like the fact that she screwed up cos she didn't know how to work the slide presentations and i mean come on, even i would have screwed up if i hadn't gone thru the slides once thru let alone her.

Again, i HATE IT when i get blamed for something that wasn't my fricking fault.