Every now and then i would take a sip of my drink and reflected on why i was drawn to this place yet at the same time repelled by it. I watched the people as the walked by, a sea of expressions ranging from happy, nervous, excited, sadness, longing and reluctance.
I try to drown out the emotions that i see on their faces as i know how it will affect me and i didn't like it. They said they would call me when they reached here so i continued to copy the notes.
Finally, i get the call and meet them as they got off the bus. I only knew some of them in the group and the rest i was seeing for the first time so i only made eye contact to the ones i knew and proceeded to chatter idly. We proceeded into the building again and caught up on the week that had passed. It was nice to see them again but still the gnawing feeling of sadness was starting to creep up slowly. After an hour or so, i gave them each a hug and big them farewell. Said i hope to see them again soon, turned and walked away.
Every step i took that brought me closer to the bus stop was one step further away from them. I was not close to them, they were a friend's friends. Yet, i felt sad to have to part with their company. Maybe it's cos seeing them always renewed my desire to reach my goal and fuelled my motivation that much harder.
No, that is not the only reason. The main reason was because of this place. I have a love-hate relationship with this environment that i am in when i am here. It has given me manybitter-sweet memories. Always filling me with a sense of dread, of sorrow, and of longing. Everytime i am here i would fantasize the time that will come that i will not be filled with the sense of sorrow and longing when i next step into this place.
No. The next time i stepped into this building, i will be nervous and almost sick to my stomach with anticipation of what lies ahead of me as i am that much closer to my dream.
Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think of the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the twin towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. And if you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion that love actually is all around.
Hugh Grant (as Britain's PM)in "Love Actually" (2003)
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