Thoughts in my mind

I've been feeling a mix of so many emotions the past few weeks.

Today a long time friend of mine told me of his future plans. I am really happy for him. We've both been sharing one common goal for our lives and he is finally getting the chance to meet that goal. Furthermore, he's found someone that he really likes. So this probably signals a step closer to maybe complete happiness for him. And my friend, you know who you are, i'm really happy for you. =)

To be honest, i am really really envious. The "6-monthed" mark, as Darcy put it, has really hit me hard. A few people have been asking is i had bought my tickets yet or if i had made my travel arrangements yet. So far i have been telling them it's too early for that. So if it is too early for travel arrangements than it's way too early for job hunting. I mean who is going to wait for me to finish my contract on Feb 17 or for that fact Jan 17 when i finish my classes.

Just yesterday, i finally came out and told Darcy i am scared. Alot of things have gotten me really worried. It's not that i have not been thinking about it. But more of the fact that i have had a buffer, and the buffer was that i had time on my side. That was then. Now i don't have that buffer or at least that buffer has slipped from beneath me.

In 6 months i will be flying off, i will be leaving my friends and family behind to pursue the dream i have been holding onto for the last 6 years.

What i am afraid of is failure, i am risking alot of peace and harmony in the family to pursue this dream. I really want to make it .. it's resting all on me now. I have to make this work.

So, my friend, your goal and mine are the same. Thank you for telling me the good news you did tonite. It has served to strengthen ALL my resolves to make this work.